When Enterprise Architecture Went Speed-Dating with Vendors

Remember my dating profile? 

I was feeling bold. I’d spent years being boxed in, misunderstood, and only called upon when things were already on fire. So, I signed up for something different: vendor speed dating. 

Seven vendors. Seven minutes each. 
Just me — Enterprise Architecture — trying to find someone who actually gets me. Someone who sees I’m more than diagrams, frameworks, and governance checklists. I want to enable transformation, not just document it. 

So, I put on my best metaphorical blazer and took myself on a spin. Here’s what happened. 👇 

Date 1: The Process Control Freak 🗂️

We didn’t even sit down before they handed me a binder — and I’m pretty sure it weighed more than me. 

“This is our implementation manual,” they said proudly. “First, you define the framework, then you train 40 people, then we configure the meta-model for you. It’ll take about 12 months.” 

I blinked. “How do we involve the business teams?” 

They paused. “That comes later. Eventually.” 

Eventually? My stakeholders needed value yesterday. 
I don’t have the time or patience to run a year-long boot camp before we see results. I need agility, not anxiety. 

Nice binder, though. Shame. 

Date 2: The Diagram Addict 🎨 

They had the prettiest models I’ve ever seen. Gorgeous boxes and arrows. Diagrams that looked like high art. 
I was impressed — until I asked what happens after the diagrams. 

They shrugged. “That depends on how you use them.” 

No ownership. No way to assign tasks. No real path from the current to the future state. 
Look, I love a good blueprint. But I’m not trying to build a modelling museum. I need tools for execution — not just visual poetry. 

Date 3: The Corporate Philosopher 🧘 

They had words. So many words. “Value streams.” “Digital twin of the organization.” “Ecosystem orchestration.” 
I was vibing, honestly. 

Then I asked, “How do we make sure the data stays alive and up-to-date?” 
They smiled and said, “That’s where your Enterprise Architecture team comes in.” 

Right. My team of three. Plus, a GSheet filled with contradictions. 
Inspiration is great — implementation is better. I need more than pretty slides and buzzwords. 

Date 4: The Hacker’s Darling 💻 

They were so excited. “Everything is code!” they beamed. 
“You can automate your entire architecture lifecycle. Integrate with Git. Script your governance!” 

It sounded powerful — if I had five developers and two years to make it work. 

I asked what happens when a business lead wants to update the capability map. They stared like I’d asked if HTML has emotions. 

I’m not here to code my way through complexity. EA is about bridging worlds — not building silos in JavaScript. 

Date 5: The Spreadsheet Whisperer 📊 

This one was light and flexible. I liked their minimalist energy. 

“No constraints,” they said. “You can build your architecture exactly how you want.” 

Sounds great, right? 

Until I realized I was doing all the work: catalogs, relationships, roadmaps, governance — all manually. 
When I asked about reuse and collaboration, they gave me color-coded tags. 

It felt like dating someone who never books the dinner reservation but always shows up hungry. 
I need a partner, not another project. 

Date 6: The Oversized Suit 💼 

They rolled in with a team of three and a pricing sheet that looked like a lease agreement. 

“We do everything,” they said. “You just need our certified partner program and a six-month onboarding plan.” 

Six months?! I don’t even know who my stakeholders will be six months from now. 
Transformation moves fast. I can’t wait for legacy timelines to catch up. 

Also, I’m pretty sure they still think Enterprise Architecture is a compliance function from 2005. 

Hard pass. 

Date 7: BlueDolphin 💙 

No hype. No handler. No jargon storm. 

They started with a simple question: 
“What are you trying to achieve — and how can we help you get there?” 

In minutes, we were co-creating and talking strategy, capabilities, application portfolios, and impact analysis. 
They weren’t trying to impress me with buzzwords — they were showing me how I could actually work with my stakeholders, not around them. 

They made bringing business and IT together on a shared canvas easy. There was just enough structure to stay aligned, just enough flexibility to adapt. 

And best of all? It didn’t require a 5-day training to get started. 

We didn’t even notice when the bell rang. 
We were already planning what we’d build together next. 

So, did I find my match? 

I think I did. 

Because when it comes to transformation, I don’t want another pretty slide deck or theoretical model. I want execution. I want results. I want a partner that helps me deliver value — again and again. 

And this time? 
I think it might be love. 💍